Day 446 - Meeting People Online

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear that others will not like me and then harshly criticize me, which would further ruin my reputation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create the idea of 'my reputation' and separate myself from it, so that I exist in constant paranoia around managing 'my rep', instead of living and expressing me genuinely, and having my reputation simply follow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to micromanage my expression, in any and all of my interactions with others, out of the fear of non-acceptance.

I commit myself to embrace self-acceptance, and journey on in my writing-expression, unencumbered by paranoid fears of potential judgments.

I commit myself to focus on my immediate, direct participation with the words I express, flowing with what comes up, so that I may channel my inner to my outer, and really begin to sort my existence out.

I commit myself to fear no troll.

--

There's a lot of parallels between meeting people IRL and meeting people online:

• Venue/Forum/Topic
• Participation
• One-on-One Interactions
• ...and surely more!

One of the first online communities I joined was about hypnotism. I found an interesting group of people supporting one another to reprogram themselves with hypnotic induction. I was curious, and when the new Forum went live on their site, I decided to participate. And with having an active role, I became a community leader. I eventually lost interest in this topic, but I learned a lot about being in an online, social environment during that first go-around.

From there, I realized that there is probably any kind of group online that one may want to find, so it becomes a question of: which topic(s) am I so interested in, that I would be willing essentially move to a new town (metaphorically) and commit my time and attention to actively participating in a new community?

To be a participant in an active community, seem like a daunting thing, and a mundane thing. Daunting if you're moving to a new country! Mundane, from the perspective that we've always been an active member in our own, personal communities. The internet has really given us access to stretching and expanding our "community." The capacity to broadcast my expression, subjecting myself to ALL, a.k.a. the biggest community, is not within my comfort zone.

My comfort zone / programming, is being able to manipulate one or several people into buying into my bullshit, so I see like the most right person. No, no. I need to stand by something more stable than your run-of-the-mill ego design.

Principle

I commit myself to standing by principle, unwavering, so that I may be vulnerable and strong at the same time: while sharing myself online.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to really meet me, and so have created difficulty with meeting and bonding with others, online or IRL.

I commit myself to continuing with my writing journey, so that I may see myself, as the words I'm willing to stand by and publish to the Interwebz.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cower, lurk, hide, believing that as long as I keep my head down, no one will see me, and so they won't judge me...all the while, not realizing that it was never about anyone else, anyway.

I commit myself to vulnerably participating in all information and groups that I take interest in, and not just lurking and reading. After all, "knowledge without application, is useless."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hoard information out of fear of survival, like, "I will need this info possibly in the future to have leverage over another."

I commit myself to integrating the common sense principles of life, equality and oneness - into my living practice as a human, so that I may be of sound support to others who too have had enough of this awkward self-created chaos we find ourselves in.

--

When we stand by principle, we can have really golden friendships.

The consistency is alluring to the masses who lose sight of themselves daily.

--

So, for this post, just a few layers of fears that I faced while approaching online/off-line community participation. Being a +1 in any group of other +1's is very rewarding! Self as a team is much more powerful than Self alone!

So whaddaya say Gang!?

Hiphip...

Day 345 - Aligning Purpose with Participation

Inspired by today's interview:
Living Words: Purpose - Part 2

As a child growing up, I believed I had a great purpose to fulfill. A purpose to make this world a better place. I later learned that there are lots of people just like me in the world. Everyone has a sense of purpose, but it appears that it can get convoluted in the midst of the mind: Perhaps it's a self-defeatist thought like, "I can't do it," with a lovely little fear of failure that prevents us from fulfilling our purpose. Other times it may be a a simple pursuit of desire, a side-track of fulfilling one's own self-interest. The tricky part here is that there are justifications that one may use to make it look like self-interest is, or will eventually be how that purpose can be fulfilled. And before we know it, our life passes us by and that horrible sense of regret come into view too often.

Maybe it's just that we never really took the time to seriously consider our purpose. And even of those that have contemplated the point, it could very well be that no real plan was drawn up. This is not a worthy excuse (as if there is one). Many, many other people in the world are not in positions to have a purpose other than to just survive the day.

For myself, I have simply never drawn out a tangible map for bringing my purpose to fruition. I've spent most of my purpose driven time within an ambition energy, jumping from idea to idea, never committing to any one idea because I was afraid of loosing the opportunity within all the other ideas, AND ideas that may come in the future. Total mind delusion of self-importance with very little to no proof in the physical. Purpose without a plan is not recommended.

Solution:
Write it out, and check the practicality of it.

Let's walk an example that's very near and dear to me. I want to make the world a better place. Ok...how? There are many different ways, and each person will have their own individual idea of how they may see themselves fulfilling this one purpose that unites us all. So, I have spent a lot of time educating myself because I really like understanding...maybe I can be an educator to facilitate understanding. Now, I'm getting somewhere. What do I want to teach? Life skills. What kind? The stuff that matters...the stuff that determines relationships between people...communication. AH HA, I studied communication in college. So far I'm on track. (now here's where things get interesting) Communication is a large topic area, so there are many different directions I could take with this, but because of my participation with Desteni, I understand how important my relationships to words are (i.e. Purpose). So, there are a few more steps here that I was able to take because of my investigation of the desteni message, which is most highly recommended, so I now know how to fulfill my purpose. I want to help people understand the importance of their relationship to words.

I have a plan for how to do this, and I'm currently working on it. In other words, this idea is actionable. That is the key. Once you reach the point of an actionable idea that's aligned with a higher purpose, all once then has to do is push through the personal resistances and actually do it.

So, if you're looking for your purpose, great! It's not lost, it's only buried in the depths of cognition and memories. The cool part about Desteni as a tool is that you learn that you only need yourself. So write. Map out your individual expression within the higher purpose that is to make this world a better place. The interview at the beginning of this post is extraordinarily supportive, and the desteni forum board is too. See ya tomorrow for an expansion and some related self-forgiveness and corrective application statements.

photo credit

Day 242 - Worldly Responsibility

This post is a semi-capstone to my mini writing series on responsibility:
- Day 241 - The Path of Least Resistance

- Day 240 - Timing and Responsibility in my Hands

- Day 239 - Becoming Responsible

I say "semi" because I've realized the multidimensional layering of my current, encrypted personality designs takes patience and persistence to decipher. I have always had a hasty walk. To get from point A to B, I would much rather bike or skateboard, and so within this writing process, where I am walking through my mind and realigning myself with and as life, I have had the tendency to try to race to the finish. So far, I've been trying to move through points so fast that I haven't been giving myself the time to apply and live the correction that I lay out in my commitments.

So, taking responsibility is really a two part process within ONE decision. The decision to actually walk the correction, and then to actually WRITE and APPLY.

It's a little awkward at first, I'll admit. Moving from passive consumption to participatory engagement is strange because I've spent so much time passive and reacting, that self movement and leadership just doesn't seem natural. There is a lot of internal resistance that leads to excuses for not changing self in a way that is self-honestly responsible for how self decides to exist. Why is this important?

The obvious: self-empowering to become a responsible and effective leader of oneself.

The ultimate: not everyone is able to make this choice to become responsible for their living. Us privileged people that have the time and resources to read this blog are unimaginably lucky relative to the far less fortunate citizens of this earth. I recommend this free interview if you want a polar opposite perspective to put your life into perspective.

So, for me to sit pretty, troubled by mundane affairs and getting the nice car for social status, requires a layer of ignorance or complex suppression. How could anyone sit pretty while there are lives on earth in absolute discord and strife? The only reason I can come up with is brainwashed or rather brain-conditioned to feel powerless, inadequate in the context of changing the world. Deep down everyone want this world to be free and fair.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I cannot make this world perfect.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid that I will fail in this world, that the world is too big for me to make a difference, that I am powerless in the context of the bigger picture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be complacent and seek momentary pleasures because I can.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can simply maintain a happy life for myself through leveraging my fortunate circumstances and ability to provide for myself and maybe for only a hand for of others that I determine are also more valuable than others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself, my life as more valuable because of my ability to be successful.

What's going on here? I am forgiving myself for the what ever layers come up in relationship my position in the world. Why? Because I have found this perspective of self-interest to be limiting the amount of responsibility I have allowed myself to take on. What's wrong with that? Self-sabotage to the detriment of all life on earth.

Understand that each has the potential to contribute to creating a world that is best for all. What's more is that if we do not take on this worldly responsibility, who will?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the powers that be to take care of me, completely abdicating my responsibility for my world and reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to realize my role within existence as a whole.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist contemplating and understanding the implications of universal oneness and equality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist taking responsibility for my individual participation as a one and equal life-form, manifest.
--
When and as I see myself fearing to take responsibility for myself in the context of this entire existence, I stop I breathe. I realize that if the large majority share and allow this fear, we are enslaved to this hellish existence we call Earth. I commit myself to showing others that that I can stand up as a responsible citizen of earth, supporting what's best for all.

When and as I see myself facing resistance toward self-honest, self/world-responsibility, I stop I breathe. I realize that I create this experience of resistance according to my residual pre-programming. I commit myself to walking through resistance within my breath, to be who I am as responsible for my world.

When and ass I see layers of self-doubt in the context of responsibility and overcoming resistance energy, I stop I breathe. I realize that I have to walk through a multidimensional encryption. I commit myself to not giving up, within a full understanding of my ability to stand, utilizing the tools of self-forgiveness and breath to decrypt and remove my conditioned internal experiences, to ultimately create myself as a responsible expression of life within oneness and equality.

One step at a time, I commit myself to stabilizing, here, within my breath, as a pillar of support for all to stand and take ownership of this world.