Day 329 - My writing purpose

Since I've started writing this blog, I've known the true purpose is to support myself in understanding who I have become, so that I am best prepared to produce actual, lasting self-change. The conundrum was that I only knew it, and wasn't really living it. For some part I was, but my focus was oriented very similar to how I oriented my focus in school: Delay, and get it done at the last minute because I have to (because of some external reason). This attitude carried over into my Desteni I Process, because that's all I really knew when it came to doing work.

That being said, now I find that I have begun to actually write for me. How can I tell? I've released the concept that I need to have a post done everyday according to an external guidance or recommendation. Don't get me wrong. I do see the value in making the time to write a post everyday. There are benefits to it that I am still realizing the value thereof, such as stability, planning, follow through and dedication. So, now they've missed more days lately than I am used to, some different self-perspectives are popping up, and I'm starting to see how I'd automated my daily posts without considering my starting point purpose!

That now being said, I still feel like I'm writing in a voice for a general audience, rather than a raw, authentic, 'note to self' voice. So, I realize that it will be a process for me to get a hang of self-writing for self alone. As I remove the layers of my automation, I realize new patterns will emerge. I must face the entirety of me in time. One pattern at I time, I commit myself to deconstructing the specific qualities of my various characters, so that I can gain root access to my physical body, from which I then commit myself to restructuring myself in alignment with what is best for all in the context of when/where/how that specific quality of me is present.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to walk process from a starting point of separation where I have defined myself in relation to how I think others will perceive me through my writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize my starting point in separation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist process because I believe I owe myself to my readers and others that might hold me accountable for my "daily" writing commitment, not realizing that I've only ever been sabotaging myself, alone. I realize this is for me. Others may or may not benefit on a side note, but I write for me.

Ok, this is going to to be interesting. I'll start experimenting with a more core writing voice, just naturally letting my self flow write to myself. I have have experience in doing this in my hand written process journal, but even there I recall writing while thinking about how what I write may come off to a future reader that isn't me. Contrived. Inorganic. Artificial. This must stop. It's not best for all, or even anyone. Self-writing is what is best for me and all, especially when I publicize my work.

Ok Dan, sleep. Tomorrow, write some awesome, articulate insight while finishing up that unfinished post from a few days ago. Self, out.

Day 288 - Best For All Support

Desteni Artists

Breaking down what is means to practically apply oneself in alignment with what's best for all.

What is Best For All?

This above link directs to the wiki page where a significant amount of perspective has been placed to clarify the mystery. Read on for my perspective on it.

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There is a common excuse that one does not and/or can't know what is best for all. “How do you know what is best for all?!” they say. Within this question, it is implied that such a perspective is not practical or even possible. There isn't even a moment's consideration for what it would mean to take this stance. There is just a quick reaction to defend the principle of self-interest. What's not realized is that a 'best for all' interest is also in self's interest.

To Clarify: What's best for self, can also be best for all.

I'm sure you can imagine several instances where a self-interested inclination wasn't even good for self, let alone best for self. Common sense with self-interest will likely reveal whether or not there is best for all alignment. You can ask yourself: Is there a fear-based motive behind this interest? Will this interest serve what's in my best interest by expanding of my ability to ultimately support what's best for others? 

A key differentiating factor which is often unrealized is the preservation of fear. (I fear others will 'get the best of me' and so) I must do what is best for me (before I lose in relation to other self-interested people). This is justified because people really are like this. So, one might proceed to blame the world for having to protect their self-interest (in fear of others). The solution to this problem has never been for others to change before self changes.

It is critical to realize the power of leading by example. Try on the best for all perspective. Examine the fears that come up. Forgive the fears and create a common sense solution.

Ex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I do not become the best in spite of others that they will spite me and I will lose my worth/ability/standing in this world system. I realize that the only way the human race will stop racing to the top is through an accumulation of self-leaders acting within the principle of what's best for all. I commit myself to lead by example by first studying where and when I fall in my application of what's best for all, so I may walk the self-forgiveness process and clean up my relationship to fear and stabilize, here.

Thank you.

Day 283 - Positive Association Self-Forgiveness

Firstly, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to write a blog post from my phone through the belief that it won't be as good (blame) and/or it will be too hard to do (resistance/fear of failure).

I realize that it is my responsibility to create effective self-support through writing in whatever medium that I choose.
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I have been reluctant to walk the positive associations through the self-forgiveness process of releasing attachment. Since I started working with SF, I found it much more natural to forgive myself for the aspects of myself that I don't like. I kind of figured that I would one day get around to hitting the positive points, but now that I am aware of the nature of waiting/hoping and attaching responsibility of self-change onto a time, separate of self, I understand that only I can create myself in the moment that is here. Thus, to be aware of how I am creating my reality in each moment is a significant point to begin considering more closely. One of the reasons I haven't been wanting to face the positive points is not understanding the consequences of creating and amplifying positive experiences within the design of polarity of mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to amplify and play into the positive experiences that I create in relation to specific physical events without understanding the relevant relationships I've built inside myself in my past that have predetermined my reactive experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to operate within positive feeling reactions to my environment without being aware of why or how.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not write about my positively defined relationships/reactions and validate this inaction because I do not understand the polarity consequences of separating myself from reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard my physical hereness and my breath because I prefer to exist within a positively charged inner reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can win at life by amplifying the positive experiences and suppressing the negative ones.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue chasing positivity and not realize that my starting point within reality is negatively charged, hence the desire for a positive experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize or investigate my state of negativity that is existent before I pursue a positive experience.
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This post initiated from reflecting on how I screamed to the ocean, "I LOVE YOU OCEAN!!!" I really enjoy myself I'm the ocean, but I can see that there is an energetic movement within me that is related to my amplified affinity toward the ocean. I commit myself to start seriously considering my positive attachments and the internal energetic constructs behind them.

When and as I see myself within a positive experience, I take a moment to remember my breathing. I realize that getting lost in these energetic experiences is a mental state that doesn't last. I commit myself to investigating the polarity dynamic of mentally augmented experience creation.

When and as I see myself desiring a positive internal experience, I stop I breathe. I realize I am operating within a negative experience of myself without being aware of it. I commit myself to inquiring within, the nature of who I am during and just before the desire for a positive experience.

When and as I see myself amplifying my experience within myself, I stop I breathe. I realize that an amplified experience within myself is created in separation of myself here. I commit myself to continue stopping the fear of releasing my positive experience creations, breathe, and simply enjoy myself in a moment, no longer dragging it out and/or flaunting my enjoyment for others to be jealous (ego related).

...many positive posts to come, positively!