Day 202 - Pride in work

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take pride in my work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to complete my work, or even these daily writings, at a level of perfection as would be defined externally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to set an "objective ideal" that is perfection outside of myself and to work toward that. Within that I am reaching for perfection from a state of desiring to be perfect. Why?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear criticism of my work, indicating that it is not perfect.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have perfect work to not have to experience the humility of producing work seen as bad or less than perfect.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to reach a level of quality that is outside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define what is quality work in separation of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I am participating in a mental polarity of producing bad/good work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not just simply do work to the best of my ability. That is all.

--

When and as I see myself striving to complete a level of quality in my work that is defined according to what I think is perfection and only able to be praised, I stop I breathe. I realize that in desiring to produce work that would allow me to rest easy, knowing that it is perfect and not needing to be touched, or changed ever again, is a mental process within polarity of mind. I commit myself to stopping this self-judgement and bringing myself back here to produce the best quality of work by putting 100% of myself into my work.

This is a big point (as they all are). And within this statement, I see doubt. I fear that I am breezing by too easily, and that I will again experience a downfall in not being able to actually stop striving for perfection with my work. And, haha, within that statement, I see that I have an underlying desire to be perfect within this one post, such that I will have this point complete, over and done with by the end of this post.

When and as I see myself attempting to be perfect by completely walking through an entire mental construct in just one post, I stop I breathe. I realize that there is NOT a real, external standard of what or how one of these JTL posts is to be or accomplish. I commit myself to writing these posts within self-honesty as self-here, directing me fully, not hiding.

There is no 'right' and 'wrong.' There is only process, and it is a work in progress. When a point is clear, I move from here. Until then, I write and write, without judging my writing by any external standard, only discerning if I am self-honest within my writing. Self-honest writing is when I am directing my writing. This process is about self-investigation for the means of self-forgiveness to ultimately realize self, here. This is my focus. This is the orientation of my self-honest writing. Pride is something I'm giving up because it does not support self awareness within and as the breath. Pride is a mental construct intimately connected to the polarity of it, with is shame. I have produced shameful work. I have brushed it aside and chosen to just focus on the positive work that I could take pride in. This stops here.

Note:  Desire to not place picture, easier/faster. Also, prideless...vs prideful vs shameful. End it all and left with what? Placing a picture is to invite readers to read. It is effective. Simple. Mind is desiring to not place a picture (shame) which is the polarity of pridefully placing a picture. Stop the mind. What makes sense? A cute kitty picture.

"OMG. Is this perfect enough??"

...or 2

"thanks for reading!"

Day 154 - Ho Ho Holiday

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to get lots of presents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that 'getting lots of presents' is not free and creates a financial burden on my parents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am only burdening my parents and not seeing how my love & appreciation is being traded for these gifts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect that I can and should pay for the gifts that I get through simply showing a fleeting moment of emotional gratitude.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty or in debt for receiving value that I did not earn and did not reciprocate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have justified only receiving gifts because this this is how it's always been for my whole life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make the day of Christmas special in my mind by doing nothing but consume media and taking the day off as an easy day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize my oneness and equality in this moment and be motivated to stand as the directive principle of what's best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spiritualize Christmas such that I do not realize the harm that is a result of complacently accepting myself to participate in this economic system for the purpose of having better stuff that I do not really need.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want stuff I do not need and justify this want with simply just partaking in Jesus' Birthday as instructed by our culture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from and blame our culture for the horrific, innocent and ignorant indulgence that Christmas has become.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to separate myself from the essence of Christmas by negatively judging it, instead of standing as it and directing my best efforts to creatively align the holiday to support what's best for all.

When and as I see myself simply taking an easy day off from the hardship that life can be, I stop and I breathe, realizing that each moment can be a fresh directive. I commit myself to showing that I do not need to take a break from real life through my accepted participation in holidays.

I commit myself to not spiritualize holidays and remove myself from here to indulge in my programmed, self-interested lifestyle of glamour and free gifts.

I commit myself to the stark realization of what is here, as what is going on in the totality of our planet earth, and stop participating in the small world illusion of consciousness.

I commit myself to showing how ending world hunger is priority over my externally stimulated emotions and feelings.

I commit myself to explain to others that I do not want to be made happy by gifts, and would rather be supported by your investigation of Equal Money System and investment in EQAFE products that support world equality and self-realization.

I commit myself to no longer turning a blind eye or sitting in complacency during the holiday season because I am merely afforded the privileged to do so.

I commit myself to working through my guilt complex that practically serves nothing other then my own limitation by compromising my self-expression, here, as the breath of life that supports all equally.

Investigate becoming the real solution with the Desteni I Process or DIP Lite. Ask questions on the forums and support yourself to realizing oneness and equality that is here as life as all, so that together we can stand as an active, living expression of what's best for all.

Thank you.