Day 154 - Ho Ho Holiday

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to get lots of presents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that 'getting lots of presents' is not free and creates a financial burden on my parents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am only burdening my parents and not seeing how my love & appreciation is being traded for these gifts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect that I can and should pay for the gifts that I get through simply showing a fleeting moment of emotional gratitude.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty or in debt for receiving value that I did not earn and did not reciprocate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have justified only receiving gifts because this this is how it's always been for my whole life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make the day of Christmas special in my mind by doing nothing but consume media and taking the day off as an easy day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize my oneness and equality in this moment and be motivated to stand as the directive principle of what's best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spiritualize Christmas such that I do not realize the harm that is a result of complacently accepting myself to participate in this economic system for the purpose of having better stuff that I do not really need.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want stuff I do not need and justify this want with simply just partaking in Jesus' Birthday as instructed by our culture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from and blame our culture for the horrific, innocent and ignorant indulgence that Christmas has become.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to separate myself from the essence of Christmas by negatively judging it, instead of standing as it and directing my best efforts to creatively align the holiday to support what's best for all.

When and as I see myself simply taking an easy day off from the hardship that life can be, I stop and I breathe, realizing that each moment can be a fresh directive. I commit myself to showing that I do not need to take a break from real life through my accepted participation in holidays.

I commit myself to not spiritualize holidays and remove myself from here to indulge in my programmed, self-interested lifestyle of glamour and free gifts.

I commit myself to the stark realization of what is here, as what is going on in the totality of our planet earth, and stop participating in the small world illusion of consciousness.

I commit myself to showing how ending world hunger is priority over my externally stimulated emotions and feelings.

I commit myself to explain to others that I do not want to be made happy by gifts, and would rather be supported by your investigation of Equal Money System and investment in EQAFE products that support world equality and self-realization.

I commit myself to no longer turning a blind eye or sitting in complacency during the holiday season because I am merely afforded the privileged to do so.

I commit myself to working through my guilt complex that practically serves nothing other then my own limitation by compromising my self-expression, here, as the breath of life that supports all equally.

Investigate becoming the real solution with the Desteni I Process or DIP Lite. Ask questions on the forums and support yourself to realizing oneness and equality that is here as life as all, so that together we can stand as an active, living expression of what's best for all.

Thank you.

Day 134 - Ascension is near, are we clear?

December 21st 2012 is drawing near. I've been excited since 2005. Haha.

Current coffee table set up :)

In all of my research into the subject of 2012, the primary take away I experienced was a feeling of being more enlightened than others. With my willingness to investigate topics that the majority of my peers turned away from, I felt like I had an upper hand by having accepted more spiritual knowledge as truth. My self-definition as a Truthseeker was compounding and expanding, and I was almost literally getting high off the notion of having "inside" information that only us Truthseekers cared to investigate. I separated myself from others, created a mental superiority-inferiority gap, and it wasn't obvious.


Moving from 2012 research, to DNA activation with monatomic gold and scared geometry, and into the Desteni material had a nice flow to it. I watched many hours of youtube videos and read the forums for perspective on whatever I was curious about. All was groovy. I was on board with Oneness, have been. Equality, I didn't understand that part, but it rang true enough to press on.

Now, as we approach the long awaited day where we ascend to the 5th dimension and the world undergoes a monumental change, my excitement is revved up. Why? I think it's because I'm curious to see how everyone responds to this day that I've spent some time identifying with.

So, is this day something to fear or prepare for. No, not really. How do I know? Because I've begun to really see the difference between the mind's play-ups and reality. The positive or negative perceptions that I've held within me are merely that. Reality is a continuous, grounded, physical motion. Thanks to Desteni for the slap in the face, else I'd still be working with my superiority complex so that I could get closer to ascension and further from the fear of death.

When and as I see myself in separation from another human being, I stop I breathe. I realize that my motivation to separate myself from others is fear-based, and I commit myself to clearing my fear. I realize ascension isn't near, and that I'll always be here.

And if ascension doesn't happen, I won't be surprised. Join us in self-honesty. Thank you.

Day 121 - Continuing the illusion

The process of walking out of the mind is like breaking down the illusion through self-forgiveness inspired realizations of self. The realization isn't enough to stop the illusion which is why we are instructed to write the corrective application statements and live them. If I'm aware of a certain facet of my mode of operation, and do nothing about it, realization will not automatically equate to change.

The desires are the positive; the fears, negative. These illusions are created by our minds and seem as real as anything from the stance of mind. My ego wants this and judges that, and this is the mind-walk we've all been doing for a long, long time. Me as mind wants to survive and continue the positive illusions, though I want to abolish the negative illusions like fears and self-doubt. Our tendency is to run/hide from our internal fears by creating a positive, outward appearance for others to see, and when we get that feedback/validation, all is well. The fears are at rest because reality is 'proving' otherwise.

Self-dishonesty is the subtle hiding of these mind illusions. So, self-dishonesty is the continuance of the illusion. Self-honesty is stopping the allowed mental experience creation overlay onto reality, breathing and living with the entire physical existence, here.

So, our fears and desires serve to keep us locked in to this experiential overlay creating. To deconstruct each point is like peeling back union layers of suppression. As we've become accustomed to our suppressions, they are comfortable/familiar. We created our personality / self-concept from them. These fear/desire mind programs that we inherited are still our creation, and in self-honesty, this is apparent. So, by no fault other than my own, I am continuing the illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from seeing the negative experiences of fear-based thoughts by covering them up though a movement toward a positive experience creation, not realizing that I'm perpetuating the illusion.

I commit myself to realizing how I am perpetuating the illusion and to become aware of when I am in my head and have forgotten about my breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be unaware of my mind within experiential creation, in separation of the awareness of my breath.

I commit myself to continue writing myself to freedom, on a daily basis, by working out the individual, specific points within my fear/desire illusions of mind.

When and as I see myself willingly continuing the illusion, I do not react with self-judgment. I realize that through writing the point out, I can work with it in physical space-time. I commit myself to slowing my experience down so that I stop jumping around from point to point in my mind and gradually align with the physical existence.

Day 120 - Stopping the illusion

When we create our perceptions of the world, there is typically a positive or negative association. When we live within a positive frame, we want to keep it that way. When we're down, we want to get back to the positive as quickly as we can. So, the pattern I'm placing into focus here is the positive/negative structure of experience. I call BS. It is ever more clear that these experiences are not stable, and so then I must not be stable. My whole life, I've assessed value in maintaining a positive frame, and so I did. I was more likable and could more easily get along with others if I kept the positivity going. I saw no reason not to; however, I now vague understand the relationship between positive and negative energy. I see it as made of the same substance, and you can't have one but not the other. They balance each other, as some universal law of balance. Good vs Evil, Right vs Wrong, Light vs Dark, Happy vs Sad, Love vs Hate, etc. This makes the world go 'round, no?

No.

The world is already going 'round, before and positive/negative experience is processed. We create these experiences kind of automatically in disregard of the spinning world. So, my understanding of the self-purification process that is laid out by Desteni is that we have to stop creating these experiential illusions. Why? Because we're addicted to them. Because we only consider ourselves within the pursuit of positive experience, not realizing that we are also contributing the the creation of the negative, internal experience.

STOP, I say! The crappy part is that stopping the positive experience is a negative experience. This is obviously balanced out by the stopping of the negative experience = a positive one. I was luckily born into privilege, and was able to figure out how to create a positive experiential frame within myself (to cover up the negative frames formed from fear). I participate in this process because giving up the illusion of positive so that I can stand stable and assist others in creating a world that's BEST for All ALWAYS is the life I've always wanted to live.

No more temporary illusions created by mind within polarity.

No more flip-floppin around with more regard for my own created illusion than for reality.

No more abuse of the physical world and it's equal, living inhabitants.

I commit myself to living in ONE world with ALL others as EQUALS, and ending the self created illusions of myself and others. While we recklessly create, we create inescapable consequence. Time to get our acts together. And by that I mean: It's time I get my act together.