Here forward:
As I sit to write, I commit myself to leave no stone unturned as I investigate all the nooks and crannies of myself, so that I may clear any and all dissonance, and align my structural resonance into a living application of my best self.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the nature of delay/procrastination/postponement, where I believe I've giving myself more time today, I'm robbing myself of progression and life itself!
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage my process by manipulating myself to opt for the quick fix of energy, instead of the long term, big picture, integrated alignment of my best self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a parallel reality of complacent acceptance within postponement, where I delude myself into a perspective that is less than comprehensive.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to maintain a discombobulated perspective through acceptance and rapidly reacting to my world through my personal desires and fears.
I commit myself to take structural action to align my living day proportionally so all my highest responsibilities are being done, and fully enjoying my fun :)
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Showing posts with label balance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label balance. Show all posts
Day 214 - Self-movement: Continued Expansion
Every little movement taken into consideration. It was quite obvious when this wasn't happening, like some half zoned-out state where much less detail is taken and and I am simultaneously experiencing an energy/thought. As I sit down to write this post, I am really worn/tired from the long day on the hill. I find it interesting that this energy fluctuation is how I've validating the resistance. I actually experience this strong desire to not have to write and face myself at this moment. I am tired, but I really just don't want to take the time and effort (interestingly enough) to push out another post. "Daily!? Seriously? This is what I committed to??" :)
What is interesting about the time & effort dynamic relationship toward this self-writing? Precisely that. That it is a dynamic relationship and requires a certain level of energy to get through it...which now leads me to believe that my energy infused writing is not of comprehensive detail.. fascinating connection. I'll explain.
While I was snowboarding, I had become much more aware of my movement and even my breathing, having given myself the context from yesterday's post.What I noticed was how the quick movement through the bumps of snow and how I had to adjust my weight and move to adapt, it was a lot of fun. So in a similar regard to how I find parkour to be fun, it wasn't something that I could done while zoned out, off in my head space somewhere. Except there were times when my mind took a larger dominion than my physical, space-time awareness.
This happened when there was a straightaway, and when going off a rather large jump. With the straightaway, I caught me in my mind when I put my hands up like I was flying. I questioned the movement and realized it as a display for others, noting the moment as a departure from the physical. I scan/see that minimal adaptive effort is required and then I could release from the physical awareness effort and just bomb that section of the hill. With the large jump: fear.
Fear stepped in as doubt, uncertainty, hesitation. It was a relatively unfamiliar experience of flight. The take off is this experience of increasing extra gravity, and then before I know it, I'm wrestling for balance in mid air. Thankfully, I only fell hard once, and my butt absorbed most of the shock.
So there are a lot of cool parallel insights here: When and why I leave physical awareness (i.e. I think I know it enough detail to be able to check out/automate my physical). How it is that I stay within energy (i.e. internal resistance struggle).
Ok, I'll continue tomorrow...after this one:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ride within energy fluctuation to get things done, not realizing that the flip-side is an experience of not having enough energy to get things done. When and as I see myself procrastinating within a starting point of internal resistance from not having enough energy to to something. I stop I breathe. I realize this is a consequence of my habitual participation within using positive energy experience to become motivated. I commit myself realizing what the resistance energy is composed of/from.
See you tomorrow.
What is interesting about the time & effort dynamic relationship toward this self-writing? Precisely that. That it is a dynamic relationship and requires a certain level of energy to get through it...which now leads me to believe that my energy infused writing is not of comprehensive detail.. fascinating connection. I'll explain.
This happened when there was a straightaway, and when going off a rather large jump. With the straightaway, I caught me in my mind when I put my hands up like I was flying. I questioned the movement and realized it as a display for others, noting the moment as a departure from the physical. I scan/see that minimal adaptive effort is required and then I could release from the physical awareness effort and just bomb that section of the hill. With the large jump: fear.
Fear stepped in as doubt, uncertainty, hesitation. It was a relatively unfamiliar experience of flight. The take off is this experience of increasing extra gravity, and then before I know it, I'm wrestling for balance in mid air. Thankfully, I only fell hard once, and my butt absorbed most of the shock.
So there are a lot of cool parallel insights here: When and why I leave physical awareness (i.e. I think I know it enough detail to be able to check out/automate my physical). How it is that I stay within energy (i.e. internal resistance struggle).
Ok, I'll continue tomorrow...after this one:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ride within energy fluctuation to get things done, not realizing that the flip-side is an experience of not having enough energy to get things done. When and as I see myself procrastinating within a starting point of internal resistance from not having enough energy to to something. I stop I breathe. I realize this is a consequence of my habitual participation within using positive energy experience to become motivated. I commit myself realizing what the resistance energy is composed of/from.
See you tomorrow.
Day 120 - Stopping the illusion
When we create our perceptions of the world, there is typically a positive or negative association. When we live within a positive frame, we want to keep it that way. When we're down, we want to get back to the positive as quickly as we can. So, the pattern I'm placing into focus here is the positive/negative structure of experience. I call BS. It is ever more clear that these experiences are not stable, and so then I must not be stable. My whole life, I've assessed value in maintaining a positive frame, and so I did. I was more likable and could more easily get along with others if I kept the positivity going. I saw no reason not to; however, I now vague understand the relationship between positive and negative energy. I see it as made of the same substance, and you can't have one but not the other. They balance each other, as some universal law of balance. Good vs Evil, Right vs Wrong, Light vs Dark, Happy vs Sad, Love vs Hate, etc. This makes the world go 'round, no?
No.
The world is already going 'round, before and positive/negative experience is processed. We create these experiences kind of automatically in disregard of the spinning world. So, my understanding of the self-purification process that is laid out by Desteni is that we have to stop creating these experiential illusions. Why? Because we're addicted to them. Because we only consider ourselves within the pursuit of positive experience, not realizing that we are also contributing the the creation of the negative, internal experience.
STOP, I say! The crappy part is that stopping the positive experience is a negative experience. This is obviously balanced out by the stopping of the negative experience = a positive one. I was luckily born into privilege, and was able to figure out how to create a positive experiential frame within myself (to cover up the negative frames formed from fear). I participate in this process because giving up the illusion of positive so that I can stand stable and assist others in creating a world that's BEST for All ALWAYS is the life I've always wanted to live.
No more temporary illusions created by mind within polarity.
No more flip-floppin around with more regard for my own created illusion than for reality.
No more abuse of the physical world and it's equal, living inhabitants.
I commit myself to living in ONE world with ALL others as EQUALS, and ending the self created illusions of myself and others. While we recklessly create, we create inescapable consequence. Time to get our acts together. And by that I mean: It's time I get my act together.
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