Day 321 - Each new moment following

What's cool is how I've got a firm grasp on how to refocus myself before going into a delay time-loop that could potentially cycle throughout the whole day. The tools are known, and I know how to use them to stop a resistance energy and refocus on my responsibilities.

What lies ahead is my steadfast application of these tools in every moment of recognition of an energetic personality take over. These personalities vary. I will interchangeably use the word 'personality' with 'character' until further notice. To exemplify how different characters come into play: I write now with a voice/tone that is different than perhaps yesterday or even the first paragraph. One of my favorite writing aspects is being able to capture this writing voice and reference it in the future and relate the experience of myself then to how I experienced myself now.

A few reasons why I would switch into different personalities:

- watching a movie = adopting some characteristics of the main characters portrayed

- at home with family = high comfort zone, well established relationships

- with friends = same as family with variations like more and less comfortability in specific dimensions

- with strangers / potential friends = shyness, desiring positive relationship / fearing negative judgement

- with a girl = similar as above, but there is more to gain/lose (shyness amplified)

All of these points of entry into different personalities must and will be investigated. Yesterday, I had a break through with my lethargic personality - recognized the energy, and in a moment stopped my participation within it just long enough to apply vocal self-forgiveness, followed by self-directive statements.

My goal remains to stabilize all personalities into a singularity. How? Why?

Because in every moment that I activate a particular personality, I have lost awareness of my one true character that is here in the physical. This one true character is a person with whom I have a severely underdeveloped relationship. My primary characters activate in certain social situations, and while alone, for various reasons typically pertaining to desire and fear from a self-interested perspective. The relationship to these characters are strengthened through a life of learning them and participating within them. I no longer accept and allow myself to go through life with an unstable world view, causing consequences in my life and the lives around me.

I will take on each and every character, until it is done. And with the one personality, I choose to support what is best, for myself and all other lifeforms that are in existence. It's an unregrettable decision. The how to accomplish this factor is the real feat. How does one go about learning how they've been living within predesigned, coded personalities, and then willingly reprogram self? This can be answered through investigating the message of Desteni. It's takes some time to acclimate and assess what is being said because 'self' as a programmed set of personalities has no time to question self. Cracking the ego code is not for the faint of heart. Most other groups in the self-realization category appeal to the ego. That's not self-honest. Study what is self-honesty. It is the concept that's going to change the world.

I challenge myself to continue with a steadfast self-honesty, to in each new moment following, no longer accept and allow energy to determine how I lead my life.

cc

I am - here - I stand
to support self in actualizing what is best for all.

Day 267 - Success and Failure pt.3

Continuing with:

Day 264 - Success vs Projected Success
Day 265 - Success and Failure pt.1
Day 266 - Success and Failure pt.2

Yesterday, I ended pt.2 of this series with a commitment to begin making an application of breath a new habit when faced with resistance, and desirable distraction. What I haven't really taken into account is all of the step I need to take to establish this habit.

This is the basis of which I will achieve my success. With a plan. With diligence. With commitment to who I am in relation to work. As barriers come up, I work through them. No more wallowing in failure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become discouraged when I fail. I commit myself to perceiving failure as opportunity for growth, and no longer allowing a spiral of negativity. In my past, I have been so good at suppressing the self-defeated, inadequacy, "I can't do it" character that I wouldn't even acknowledge it. Rather, I'd simply move into a distraction or diversion that would allow me to maintain an inner positivity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prioritize my own inner feeling in a single moment rather than considering how I would self-honestly feel about a situation while taking into everything into consideration. To procrastinate requires this dynamic. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to temporarily ignore the inevitable consequence of delaying work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how much more proficient I could be if I didn't delay even one task. Delaying one task, delays all tasks. Unless I agree with myself that the delay is warranted through having task 2 take priority over task 1, I need to stay focused on achievement. That yields success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to delay achievement, not realizing the consequence of delaying my success. If this continues until I die, I will have failed.

So what I'm seeing now, is that delay leads to failure and could be considered one and the same. I commit myself to not become discouraged and spiral into delay.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how delay is a fail, especially when I don't get up and give my whole moment/hour/day away to a feeling-guided storm of 'unproductivity'.  I commit myself to stop this when and as I see myself in this behavior.

Before the behavior comes thoughts. I commit myself to flag point which thoughts occur when I move into delay so that I will be best able to walk my process effectively in dismantling those specific thoughts so my directive power lies within my breath. From here, I move effectively.

I commit myself to continue to with this point until I am a living, breathing example of self-direction in every moment. Enjoy.

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