Day 150 - Responsibility of the Future

As 2012 December 21st comes to pass, I am in the middle of determining my future. So, this post is not going to emphasize today's date as more significant than I make it. I realize that I am the creator of my conscious orientation to events like today, or really any over-spiritualized point. In fact, no special happening of 2012 will produce real change for us. I accept the responsibility for my future. Who I am then, is born today. And it's this realization that's going to carry me into the future.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to delay the creation of my future within fear of loss.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept and allow my mind to direct my use of time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize I am one with my future, here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to break continuity of time by participating within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe my self to be great or special.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing my destiny.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for myself as the creator of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to passively live life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be untrue to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from reality through pleasure seeking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize myself as a proactive solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize myself within each moment of breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not direct myself within each moment of breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand what I accept and allow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be still/inert as I sit back and allow energy to direct me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire the "easy life."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse money to stay high and separate from reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how much responsibility I can take on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having too much responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having power.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate fear with power and responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fears.

When and as I see myself wasting time, I stop I breathe. I realize I am in an energy flow.

I commit myself to re-aligning my actions with common sense and what's best for all.

When and as I see myself getting overwhelmed by my future, I stop I breathe.

I realize that this is not an effective, practical decision to direct myself within what's best for all.

I commit myself to participating in energy with awareness and agreement only.

When and as I realize that I am in an energy flow without my agreement, I stop I breathe.

I realize that here is a pattern/habit that I've programmed within me directly or by reaction-allowance.

I commit myself to deconstruct these patterns through writing and self-forgiveness so that I my birth a new rule of self within corrective living statements.

When and as I see myself afraid of the future, I stop  I breathe. I realize that I create this fear.

I commit myself to pushing through resistance and facing each source point of fear within me.

When and as I see myself missing the point of oneness and equality through abdicating my responsibility to producing real change for myself and others as me, I stop and take a breath. I realize I am you.

I commit myself to walking with you as an equal in supporting ALL toward the best possible outcome.

Thank you all.

Let's get together and produce real best for all outcomes. The world didn't end, so why not begin to make it an awesome place to be born for all life here?

Join us on the forums at desteni.org

Contribute to the global solution with your two cents at equalmoney.org

My Future is Your Future is Our Future. Become a global citizen.

Everyone's doing it!

Until peace for all, it's time to do work.

Day 142 - '"I got time to delay"

This blog could have happened earlier in the day...also could have happened later, so there is change happening. It didn't happen earlier in the day for the reason that this post is laying out: "I have time to do it later."

So, I have nice little serious going on here that started on Day 140, where I'm delaying responsibilities for various reasons. Responsibilities are defined as anything that necessarily supports me to be stable. Chasing an energetic experience is not being responsible with self, self in relation to self and others. So, avoiding my responsibility to self, like my responsibility to be self-honest within "Am I supporting what's best for me AND ALL, or am I letting this energy direct me into what's apparently in my self-interest, where I allow me to compromise self as all as me. And that's kinda of a big thing. Like, I imagine myself to be all, and if I am directing myself, I have a lot of work to do. Many atrocities in the world to be corrected, and those as me, mean I can correct the problem by aligning with best-for-all.

So it comes down to best-for-all or not, and accidentally wasting a whole day playing video games because I thought I had enough time to eventually get to my responsibilities, is self-compromise. Now, in this case, I did get around to typing this entry before 11pm, but had I finished it in the morning with a simple "No" to the impulse to play video games for that "feel-goodness" of winning...that's another point....had I finished it, I could be doing more work until I go to sleep, ideally. Agreeing with myself to play an hour of video games is chill, but I'm being dishonest with myself when I sit down to play, because I'm avoiding/resisting letting go. Of what?

Today, I allowed myself to play video game in the early part of the day in part because I knew that I intend to writing this point through self-forgiveness today. Self-forgiveness is scary like that, like looking into a black hole as the end of a particular characteristic of myself. "I don't want to never play video games again in the mornings. Could I even do that? It's too hard." But as I work with the writing to get my thoughts out (like I've been doing this whole time, flowing), I end up writing more than I want, but it's out. I can take a breath and see myself right here in my words. For instance, this whole entry so far is all thoughts that take time to think, and by typing them out, they're all here at once. This whole point and the related thoughts are here in one stream of expression (I can't wait to get over what ever fears are stopping me from vlogging!) So, getting my thoughts physicalized is really supportive because now I can work with self-forgiveness and corrective application to produce real change of self, utilizing self-honesty to see when I fall (i.e. fall into self-judgement = not supportive of self/all)

Also, I wanted to mention that even as I sat down to write this out, i used a candy bar to delay facing the point for just a bit longer :)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I am compromising self/other/all by moving with the energy of resistance into delay, instead of me directing me to do as I please, which is assuredly what's best for all, which is currently effectively supporting self towards stability for the end result of standing as effective support for all.

...haha, 2-3 hours later, I am back at the computer typing this. This is a case of resistance through this point that I'm facing in writing. I want to be done with delay and jump-start a superman work ethic. This want is contradictory to my past behavior, and is creating mental friction (a.k.a. Cognitive Dissonance, as I define as behavior inconsistent with beliefs about behavior, like smoking cigarettes and believing you shouldn't) that I believe is fueling my related thoughts of fear and self-judgement. So, I'm going to keep at this as to not let my fear of failure direct me away from being effective.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing within addressing my delay points and allowing delay to ensue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify procrastinating because I have enough time to also get done what I intend to get done, missing how this is causing me to produce less in general.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist writing about delay within and as the fear of the end, as the end of procrastination and so half-purposefully allowed myself to procrastinate as it being my last chance to freely indulge in reckless delay.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not face myself within work by positively charging the delay behavior outlets. (to be expanded on in blogs to follow)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the consequences of delaying a responsibility/task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to delay because "I can."

When and as I see myself moving into allowed delay because I think I have enough time to do so, I stop I breathe. I realize that there is always more I could be doing, so any form of delay is compromising my work output when the whole picture is taken into consideration. I commit myself to taking a moment to consider ALL the consequences of delaying the task in mind, such as a relative productivity assessment between working hard first, playing later vs. carelessly playing first, and later working too hard (to produce less quality work).

I commit myself to realizing how I allow myself to compromise myself within delay. I commit myself to not judge myself and further compromise my work ethic. I commit myself to standing within my corrective application statements, equal and one.

I commit myself to delay within common sense and self-honesty ONLY.

When and as I see myself allowing a decision of delay to direct me, I stop I breathe. I realize that this is a mind energy and that if investigated I may be able to specifically locate the resistance and release the fear program with self-forgiveness. I commit myself to be serious with myself. I commit myself to be true to myself. I commit myself to effectively addressing one point at a time, so that I do not get overwhelmed and move into delay.

I commit myself to returning the directive power of myself to myself, in part by longer accepting deceptive time concepts to allow the system of delay to run rampant.

Related articles

• Day 140 - Delay Point Expounded
• Day 141 - Establishing Self-Leadership

photo from flickr