Day 178 - Disappointment of oneself

Yesterday, I decided to take a real, close look at how it is that I keep trying to hide from myself. There are plenty of layers here, and I'm not going to allow myself to get overwhelmed by trying to decipher everything all at once. I am breathing as I write this continuation, where the focus is forgiving self for the conflict and frustration toward myself for my moments of weakness. Addiction is a prevalent point here as well, that can wait for tomorrow as I breathe and walk one point at a time :)

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become disappointed with myself through not being able to stand strong and direct myself in the moment of change.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that standing up within and for myself in the moment of change is not effectively accomplished through self-anger and the variants of experience including but not limited to disappointment, shame, and regret.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to breathe through the inclination to become upset with myself for not standing as an absolute example of what's best for all always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself by allowing myself to be within the emotional experience of self-anger or disappointment toward myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as disappointment, not considering or realizing this as a mind participation moment, stopping, breathing.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to remember to just breathe and direct myself according to what is common sense in that moment, that which is best for me and all equally.
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When and as I see myself becoming of disappointment, anger, frustration, regret, shame within and toward myself, I stop I breathe. I realize this does not serve me and is of a mind consciousness programming that I've accepted and allowed myself to copy from others while growing up. I commit myself to the simple recognition of this design play out. Within this, I commit myself to leave no stone unturned in my self-investigation process, and with a steadfast, persistent examination of each layer, I do not stop to feel disappointed for my past/present allowances.

When and as I see myself hung up on self-pity and the like, I stop I breathe. I realize this is only worsening my situation by existing within self-judgment instead of self-direction within and of the moment of awareness of my breath. I commit myself to purse the layers within and behind my attempts to hide from myself, until I am clear and effective within self-application in every moment. Patience. Let's not get ahead of ourselves and create another energy that will fade as this is the starting point of disappointment of myself...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so disappointed and ashamed of myself through failing to stop my fingernail biting habit that I've retreated or receded from further investigation through fear of failing again. This is why I must no longer allow the energy of disappointment to dictate my physical action(s).

I commit myself to keep moving within my process and flag pointing everything that gets in my way!