Continuing from Day 172 - Glazing Over & Day 171 - Zoned Out Episodes
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize when I depart into a day dream.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that is it ok/harmless to wander off into my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that zoning out can be a beneficial recharge for the mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become intrigued and invested in my mental wanderings, believing that it is warranted/justifiable because the end result may lead to a positive experiences of insight/realization.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move from physical task, to physical task without realizing the mental spacing out that happens in between, where I blindly follow along. I have referred to this process as side-tracking or "tangenting."
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get frustrated with myself for getting side tracked instead of realizing how I became side tracked within self-honesty and stopping the mind's desire to automatically wander on to the next interesting/enjoyable thing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to unintentionally prioritize mental escapes when faced with work/resistance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is difficult to remain here and always present, and for allowing myself to use this as an excuse to give in to the mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to just zone out because it's easy and not tasking.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect spacing out & comfortable/easy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect breathing in physical awareness & difficult.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to space out when listening to another speak. Within this, I forgive myself that I allow myself to become more fascinated with my own thoughts and/or fear not responding well. I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear just being myself when in conversation with another.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being present and with my breath because I could get hurt when doing physical activities while participating in a mental augment/adventure.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider myself within each breath that I take. This will be a process, and while I keep coming back to my breath, I commit myself to working through and facing all self-created points of fear that may stand in my way to self-realization, here.
I commit myself to recognizing and stopping a mental tangent escapade as quickly as I can. Within this, I commit myself to investigate why I was so fascinated to begin following my mind into the abyss in the first place to be able to effectively apply self-forgiveness for that point.
When and as I see myself resisting a task I have planned to do, I stop I breathe. I realize this is the point where I allow my mind to wander and distract me. I commit myself to not get overwhelmed within trying to stop this by remembering the simplicity of the self-assistance tool of taking a breath.
When and as I see myself faced with work, moving toward a distraction, and becoming overwhelmed with my choice to follow the distraction, I stop I breathe. I realize that I have repeatedly been disabling myself from effectively bringing myself back on track within not realizing that the experience of overwhelmed/too difficult is just another allowed mental outflow of a relationship I have not yet explored in detail. This is a key. The key is and has been breathing. I stop, I breathe. I see my mind moving me. I stop. I, I breathe. I continue to breathe and direct myself with intention. I commit myself to stopping all emotional movements. I commit myself to not get angry at/toward self when I accidentally allow myself to participate within/from emotion, not realizing that anger is yet another equal, reactive emotional experience of mind participation.
When and as I see myself enthused with my own thinking when conversing with others, I stop I breathe. I realize that I have not wanted to give this up, and will require to continually assess why/where I place value in my thinking processes that are in separation from physical space-time. I commit myself to continue my mental-self investigation.
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