Day 441 - Reboot Writer Character

Option A) Let shame compound and drive me further into the ground.


Option B) Just start writing.




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a million and one expectations for myself as a writer, and shut myself down before I begin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disconnect writing as a solution, even though I have seen how effective this practice is in creating stability in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself feel unworthy of your attention, unless I perform to a high-standard and expectation that I create for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create high expectations for myself out of fear that I will be judged as insignificant otherwise.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand, IT IS ONLY ME that has me caught up in a loop of self-critical stagnation.

I commit myself to stop postponing the inevitable, and start taking responsibility for what I am creating of myself in my life.

I commit myself to stop blaming external factors for why I write, support myself, or not.

I commit myself to reinstate writing as a immediate, accessible process at my disposal each and every day.

I commit myself to NOT turn writing into a big thing, and then give up when I see that my expectations of myself and reality don't line up.

I commit myself to make myself a writer by taking small steps to write daily, here on Blogger, soon on Steem, and/or in my private journal(s).

I commit myself to attaining success, in process and in life, one small, action at a time.


I'm going to explore an interesting character dimension in upcoming posts: of not feeling worthy of being seen or heard in the world, and so silencing myself and not participating, when in reality, I could surely have participated and contributed in a significant and meaningful way. #WorthinessWeek

Day 375 - What is Love?! (Baby Don't Hurt Me)

No more.

(If you insist on listening to the song while you read my blog, GO RIGHT AHEAD AND DO SO!)

I'm going to do a special post today for Valentines Day! Yippy!! To open up a point as big as love required some research on my part, so I'll sum up the key points to the best of my ability today (to get you hooked) and then in the several following posts, I'll expand on what I currently see in this construct.

Briefly, In my own experience, "love" was not a quantifiable concept. I experienced it as unstable and fleeting at best. Perhaps some might say I never knew "true love." My parents loved me, in the obvious subtle kind of way. They weren't keen on overtly expressing their love, except occasionally. It is my theory that my mom learned from her mom that love is care is worry is prevention is making sure I eat my vegetables and stay safe from harm. You know? Kind of doing all she can to ensure I have the best chance to be successful in my life.

This form of love didn't translate so well into the early dating phases of my life. I felt near clueless about what love entailed, and how to approach girls with a display of my potential to give them love. Through time, I acquired more of an understanding of what girls expected, and I become fairly good at giving them what they wanted. It was damn near mathematical.

But math isn't love!? Isn't it? I don't want to ruin your Valentine's Day or anything, but can you honestly say that you have investigated what love is or what you expect from someone who loves you? Could you define it on paper? I know that I haven't even tried doing that before, and today marks the first day of my true investigation of how I have lived 'love' in my life. Through this specific self-introspection, I will be able to see where I am at in relation to love (what it means, what I expect, what I project, etc.) and then be able to redefine love within a starting point perspective of oneness and equality in the physical.

This post is just to wet your whistle and get you thinking about how you have been living the word Love in your life. Upcoming, I will expand on my research and relate everything to my own experience in life thus far; and from there, define and align the solution as a physically expressed, stable form of Love in the context of Self and All, Equal and One.