Day 396 - Why Do I Make Rushed Decisions?

I have a propensity to want to take the fast route, and this is because I've trained myself over the years to do so based on obtaining desires and avoiding fears, namely Self-interest. This training of myself was a process of automating my decisions, so I wouldn't have to put in the effort of discernment when a similar situation arose in the future.

That's a really important insight. congruent

Now recognizing that this decision automation phenomenon works based on the assumption that similar situations that may or may not happen in the future are essentially, exactly the same. Sometimes the past and future situations may be so overwhelmingly similar that we confidently label them "the same," but this experience would primarily serve to reinforce/solidify the misconception that "similar = same." I'd like to propose that this may even be the source of all conflict in the world.

Solution: Slow down the decision processes to nearly the speed of initial learning/integration, allowing us the space and time to bring multiple dimensions into consideration. To have a clean slate going into a decision process, versus utilizing my brain's preprogrammed decisions that really only function according to one or a few dimensions at most. Therefore, creating new mind-programs for the sake of easy decision making in the future is really an obsolete use of the mind. It follows that I can no longer run from the "effort of discernment." I must embrace it.

For as I apply myself more and more in this moment to moment decision making, the process itself will become easier as would anything that is practiced. As the saying goes, 10,000 hours of decision making within here-moments of comprehensive consideration, and I'll be a master decider! :)

I conclude that trying to avoid the "effort of discernment" only perpetuates, if not strengthens, the perception of difficulty within making decisions without preconceptions. I now commit myself to practice making more real-time, moment to moment decisions.

--

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I've automated most of my decision making processes based on what best served me, as a mind, within my past experiences.

Furthermore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, perceive and trust that I am "knowing" because I've had multiple accounts of success while applying my self-pre-programmed decision processes throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the value of putting forth a fresh, unbiased perspective when facing a moment of deciding something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the unknown, as a central, subconscious justification for collecting knowledge and information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to circumvent the effort of discernment by accumulating enough knowledge and information that I can trust will guide me through life successfully by allowing (old) knowledge and information to, in essence, make my decisions for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from knowledge and information through attempting to collect, gather and store as much potentially-some-day relevant information as I can to free myself from the responsibility and consequences of making decisions myself.

Wooooooooooooo. That's a doozy. *Breathes in*

*Breathes out*

Continuing:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to superiorize my self-concept based on the amount and quality of the knowledge and information that I possess, quality being determined by the number of experiences of success and being 'right' when employing it.

I believe that it is I who is right, when clearly it was the information that was correct. And practically by luck of the draw, my opinion aligned with fact, and my ego soaks that moment up to create myself within the Arrogant Character. What's really interesting is how the decision to apply past information was really me. The decision was actually made by me, as the mind, as the knowledge and information itself. Goes to show why I would fight tooth and nail to prove I am right...Because I believe that I am the mind/information.

Wow, perception is powerful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am the information that I've gathered throughout my life experience.

And, I forgive myself for not accepted and allowing myself to realize how I've created and allowed my mind to automate my decisions and guide me through life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue protecting and defending myself as the mind, as information, and I now commit myself to reconsider everything.

I commit myself to flag-point my quick decisions to serve as a reminder that I may be in energy and of mind within the decision. Action plan: Check-in with self, and assess the starting point of the decision. If there is any memory, belief system or a dated mental construct, SLOW DOWN. Strive to bring more into consideration than what feels natural. Breathe.

I realize that decision making will become easier again. Understanding Self-honesty conceptually is a whole other thing from applying/living it. My self-interested, automated and pre-programed decision making within my mind consciousness system needs to be debugged. I have to recode and restructure how I make decisions...one decision at a time.

More on this to come!



Notes for further expansions:
- Impatience Character
- Trust in pre-existing knowledge
- Resisting responsibility
- Opinion as self-defining
- Parkour Philosophy
- Ego-death resistances

Day 319 - Time flying by

I've been in a mini rut. haven't blogged for two days. First day, I had agreed with myself that I do not want to write the blog on this night. I was tired and unwilling to pump out a mediocre post for some external sake. I realize that this blog is written by me for me. Yes, other's may read it, and maybe people of the future will be reading this in the internet archives. The potential of someone relating to my process is the only reason I write this Journey to Life publicly...I often forget that. I tend to wait until the end of the day, out of habit of doing work for a reason outside of myself, some reason other than effective self support. Dan, me, I am here to realize the nature and design of myself that I've created, accepted and allowed. Why, so I can walk the self-forgiveness process and release mental charges that keep me in polarized experience, keep me out of my breath. To reside in the moment here, within my body, instead of within a mind domain that is elsewhere, taking breath and life for granted. Distracted or preoccupied. No time for self to support self.

This is not okay. The world is on a path to WW3. There's a storm of jobless people coming, and I'm sitting in my parents house resisting my individual process with whatever excuse seems valid in a moment. There are over 30,000 deaths today from hunger alone according to http://www.worldometers.info/ (Thanks for the source Garbrielle's blog!). Time is not a luxury for everyone.

I am educated. I have heard the desteni message, and I understand the solution = my participation. With out me, how can I expect anyone to do anything. I have no excuse to not live as the solution. I realize this, yet I still allow myself to abuse time. Not acceptable.

The second day I chose to skip my writing was due to me delaying and delaying until there was not enough time to write a quality post. When I take this out of the context of time and external responsibility, it looks like I am just not willing to do what I need to be done.

I have a responsibility that is expanding as I walk my individual process. Once I clear my head, I will then be best able to support others and fulfill my equal and one role of participating as the solution. One life. One world. One problem...the mental conditioning that keeps us looping in distractions and excuses, drastically limiting our potential as the One solution.

I've recently been reading a book that was gifted to me called The ONE Thing. The key idea is that successful people have just one thing to do. By focusing on just one thing at a time, we can accumulate our accomplishment and be successful in whatever we set our minds to. A large amount of the human race is racing for money alone. Some others have made a girl/guy their one thing. Others, a sports team. For me, my one thing is the world. That's a huge one thing, and I've allowed myself to get bogged down and overwhelmed by it all.

This is no joking matter. This is the one thing holding me back right now. I need to start taking myself more seriously. How I spend each moment is a choice: Do I react within a preprogrammed set of rules within my consciousness, OR do I breathe and consider the self-honesty of myself? Will I allow the feeling to be my excuse for why I can't do it, OR will I stand and direct myself to do what is best? So simple. The faster I figure this out, the less I'll be kicking myself in the butt.

Time is flying by as I watch from the perspective of a consciousness initiated time-loop.
-- OR --
Time is where I am. Time is timeless. Time is who I am. There is only one Time, here.

I commit myself to get back into effective self-supportive writing, on the daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of my one purpose, living true compassion for life. As a global-social entrepreneur.


I commit myself to the ONE thing that matters most: educating myself into becoming a living solution.